What's a parent to do?
27-01-2012 12:42:00
Parents lack the skills to effectively discipline their children and many have "given up", one of the South Australia’s leading child experts says.
UniSA Professor Freda Briggs said because smacking - once one of the main forms of punishment - is no longer deemed acceptable, parents have "given up on discipline altogether".
"We've been telling parents not to smack but haven't told them what to do instead and how to do it," Prof Briggs said.
"As a consequence, some have stopped parenting in so much as they're not insisting on rules and limits, not telling the kids to go to bed at 7pm."
Professor Briggs, who has written a book entitled Smart Parenting for Safer Kids, specialises in research on child protection.
She said parents should try time-outs and explaining why something was wrong, rather than just saying "no".
Adolescent psychologist Dr Darryl Cross agreed.
"Basically we've thrown out the baby with the bathwater. Parents are being told thou shalt not smack, but not much more," Dr Cross said.
"They're floundering without having what they were raised on (smacking) to fall back on. We haven't educated them. It's a requirement to get a driver's licence to drive a car, but when it comes to parenting courses, where we're talking about our future, our society, there isn't anything that people have to do."
The discipline debate was reignited last week when a Townsville mum forced her son, believed to be 10, to stand in a busy park for more than an hour, wearing a laminated sign claiming he was a thief and could not be trusted.
While many praised the tough approach, others said the approach was unlikely to have the desired effect.
Dr Cross said several methods of punishment had a higher success rate and should be used as soon as a child was able to walk and talk.
This included time-outs, where a child sat in a "boring place"- not necessarily a corner but somewhere like the laundry - until their behaviour improved, as well as confiscating treats.
Dr Cross also recommended writing simple rules and displaying them where they clearly were visible.
Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology Adjunct Professor Peter Norden, whose area of expertise includes criminal justice policy and adolescence, said a lack of discipline as a child could have severe consequences later.
"In the worst-case scenario, you see adults who have an undeveloped awareness of the needs of others. They don't have the capacity to work in a group and co-operate." he said.
"If you drop all sorts of punishment, children don't learn the boundaries of acceptable social behaviour and, in extreme cases, they can become part of the prison population.
"What we need to do is not only feed or nurture our kids, but also say no and set limits. It's a sophisticated negotiation process with a huge amount of work."
Excerpt from:
Parents lost on child discipline
by: My Week Editor Callie watson
From: The Advertiser
http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/parents-lost-on-child-discipline/story-e6frea6u-1226124012495
August 29, 2011 12:00AM